WHAT YOU CAN FIND HERE
Each month I try to offer some information and books about several topics. Periodically throughout the year, I will be offering seminars on a variety of subjects. You can find the times, dates, locations and other information on these seminars on this page. Also, I like to write short informative notes on subjects I encounter in therapy. These brief articles will address things like empathy in couple's communication; the long effects of sexual abuse; behaviors and thought distortions for those who were raised by addicts and alcoholics and various other topics that apply to many who are seeking professional therapy.
GOOD BOOKS TO READ
Also, there are several books I recommend on a regular basis. These books cover a variety of subjects and offer great information that can be easily learned and applied to our everyday lives. I will list and update each month, books that I find that I think you might like to read and that would be helpful. I also like to give a brief overview of the contents of the book and reasons why I choose it.
This month I am going to start with two books that I recommend frequently:
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk
The authors are Adele Faber and Elaine Maslish
Avon Books, New York, 1980
Growing Up Again
Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children
Second Edition
Jean Illsley Clarke
Connie Dawson
ISBN 1-56838-190-5 1998
How to Talk… sounds like a book that is just for parents. However, I use it in marriage counseling because this model of communication is so effective that it would work with adults with only slight adjustments in the choice of words. And sometimes, that is even not required. It is a work book of sorts with illustrations on how to interact with your children and how your interaction effects those to whom you are speaking. This book incorporates the essential element that is lacking in all troubled marriages. That element is empathy. Virtually every couple I see in marriage therapy, is lacking empathy for each other. This book illustrates how empathy might look and sound and how to achieve it in your relationships. So if you are in a relationship and have children or don't have children, it will be useful.
Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children is a wonderful book that contains useful information about each stage of development our children are going through and what is involved in those stages and what useful and effective parenting techniques you can use to address each developmental stage. In my work with parents and kids, I find that the biggest mistake most parents make is expecting their children to be able to do something the child is not developmentally available to do. Power struggles then result leaving both children and parents defeated and demoralized. Knowledge is the best defense against these struggles. This book is quickly becoming one of my favorites to use in therapy and to recommend to clients.
You can usually find it at Amazon or other book outlets or in Barnes and Noble, Borders, etc. Give it a try and see how your communication and relationships start to improve!
I will be sure and announce the publication of my own book as soon as it is completed. It is a labor of love with the goal in mind of keeping children safe, healthy and secure so that they will have happy and productive lives.
In the meantime, keep checking in on my web site to find more interesting and useful information. The areas I treat most often include: sexual abuse recovery, trauma recovery, adult children of alcoholics, relationships, communication and parenting. Other subjects such as addiction, depression, grief, fear and anxiety are often connected to these areas and get addressed in the process. If you are interested in a subject I have not mentioned, please e-mail me and I will address that sometime soon on this page.
I wish you all a happy and healthy life.
Barbara Coffman, MFT
